Monday, February 22, 2016

The People of Skyrim are Assholes.



One More Sass Out of You and I will Summon ALL the Dragons! 



Oh, guards, you so silly. 

I think this one is pretty self-explanatory. The Dragonborn can pretty much take over Skyrim, conquer a slew of Guilds, control the weather, the sun -- and the denizens of Skyrim will still give you fucking sass.

I am standing here in Legendary Armor, fucking levitating with two dragons standing behind me. Could. You. Fucking. NOT.

Seriously, Bethesda, I never got this. I know they're all meant to be tough and no nonsense. Life is hard in Skyrim, I get it. I spent a LONG time cleaning up that shit because no one else was going to freaking do it. Stopped the end of the world, killed the Emperor, I mean...Talos above.

Sure, you can mod it on the PC so the guards and NPCs give you more respect, but I originally played Skyrim all the way to level 81 on the PS3. Before I played it, I was pretty much 100% Paragon. I couldn't even finish Dead Rising because I felt so shitty when all of my rescue people got themselves killed like morons.

Get Skyrim on PC > Look forward to being a hero > get to Riften > Quit > Create Surrian (a very chaotic neutral character from my personal works of fiction) > Wreck shit.

Many assholes were stabbed, many throats were slit, and when the towns tried to attack me I summoned an undead dragon to massacre it.

You made me do this, Skyrim. YOU MADE ME THIS WAY.

No comments:

Post a Comment