Screaming Incoherently at Depression

Depression is my Babadook

The fuck is a Babadook? It's a pretty good horror movie, and the titular monster is something of a psychological phenomenon:

This asshole here

Anyways, during the climax of the movie, the mother is pretty much screaming at the incorporeal manifestation of her presumed depression and worsening mental health (theoretically). The monster is roaring back -- it wants to devour her kid, it wants to kill the smarmy, screaming little shit, but despite noticeable postpartum depression, she doesn't let it.

So, depression is my Babadook. It's that dark thing roaring at me from the corner of my mind. What's better is that it's bipolar depression, so I get the benefits of sometimes having manic highs and then being dragged back down into lying motionless in my bed and feeling the future fade from me. I'm actually experiencing that now, which is part of the reason I started this blog. It's a way to scream at my Babadook.

I think the worst thing about having a monster that lives in your brain is the unexpectedness of it all. You don't know when you're going to get attacked, but you know it's going to happen. It's like that moment in a horror movie right before the monster / serial killer / poorly CG'd thing finds one of the idiot teenagers and rends them apart. Except instead of death, you're just left on the floor and the monster clocks out and goes, "See you next shift."

Salaried asshole. He gets more promotions than I do.

Screaming incoherently is pretty much a way to tell it, "I'm not going out without a fight!" or, "If you strike me down now, I will return stronger than before." I don't get cool lightning powers though, the monster just sort of snorts and carries on, like I'm Stormtrooper Wilhelm scream : ( .

The problem with screaming and ranting incoherently is that it leaves me not knowing how to end a blog post. So...bunny dicks. Have a good day.